There's this girl, you see... I fell in love with her and I think I never got up.
I'll never forget the day I first saw her. The anxiety. The waiting. The silence. I couldn't think. I was nervous, but trying to look cool. When I finally saw her coming, I lost my ground. It was like a merciless blow to the head, the heart, the nerves. I had never understood all those crappy common lines about love until that day. Butterflies in the stomach, sweating hands, galloping heart, dry mouth, unresponsive limbs, dizzy floating head... I had all. And BAM! Just like that, from that moment on, I knew I wanted her. I wanted to love her.
For what I know, that encounter struck her in the same way. We were awfully shy. But as babies crawling, we managed to keep it nice while trying to not expose the true nature of the awkwardness we were dealing. At a given point while chit-chatting, we found out we were both going to the same concert in two days.
And so two days later we met again. And all those feelings and sensations ruled me again. I couldn't help myself. I was feeling uncomfortably happy and miserable at the same time. I was glad she was there by my side, but I wanted to hug her, to kiss her, to caress her messy hair, to feel her breast against my chest and her heart beating as fast as mine. But I couldn't.
After that fated night, I had no doubts. My feelings for her were legit. I was officially in love for real. I couldn't think about anything else. I had to do something. So a few days later I gathered all my strength and courage and decided do declare my love for her. It was one hard task, but I did it. And I was successful. I found she felt the same and so we started dating.
But what “love gives, love takes away”... and so we had to break up. It doesn't matter now how long we were together or why we broke. It matters that I fell for her. More than once.
A lot happened after that in my life – and certainly, on hers too. But then, even after I had recovered from a heartbreak, and after all the pain, I find that my feelings for her never faded. I even had a chance to confirm that. And now I know I've fallen again. It hurt. It hurts.
The big problem is that no matter what happens, it looks that we're not supposed to be together. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's her. Maybe it's both of us.... Maybe it's none. Maybe it's some kind of cosmic joke. Maybe it's a curse. Maybe it's a trial of faith, or a lesson about letting go. Maybe it's fate. Maybe it's just bad luck...
Anyway, this is life. And life it's not always easy. You can't have it all. You make mistakes. You hurt people and get hurt. You cry. You regret the things you have done and the ones you haven't.
You love. You love someone... sometimes, more than you can manage.
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